💗💭.ws

What Do You Want To Care About?

What do you want?

I think this is a good thing to keep an eye on, but not terribly interesting, if you'll understand my meaning. It's the type of thing you want an accurate answer for, but not something to fixate too much over. For instance, the answer should include all manner of destructive whims.

What do you care about?

I'm asking in a particular sense -- what do you want to want? What desire, if you are depleted, would you take care to replenish? What desires are important enough to restrain other desires?

But the main question I'd like to pose here is, what do you want to care about? Which things deserve that replenishment? Which things, when you ponder, are so important that the other things you want, or even care about, should be set aside?

Trivially, since the world is deeply meaningful, and your life is part of both that meaning and how that meaning is navigated, you should care about things. To put it another way, I want you to want to care about things (this is from my sense of benevolence -- it is better for you to care -- but also my intrinsic aesthetic appreciation of caring). Even if caring is hard and you're not used to replenishing yourself, or not used to setting aside your whims. It is challenging for all of us, at times. We all have things we want that we'd prefer not to want. We all have things we care about, but do not endorse caring about them (or we don't endorse how it expresses in our lives).

But I would also like to submit that some things are harmful to the human spirit to care for. There is a modern rule of etiquette that I do not attempt to 'yuk your yum', but I think it's important to warn people about some of these. And some things are good to care about, I think, not just for myself but in general.

Please do not choose to care about your own hurt. If your anger and pain fade, you do not need to replenish them. You will remember the lessons you need. And the people who care for you, even if there aren't many of them, will protect you, too, if you share your life with them. You may even learn valuable information about who cares about you -- perhaps not everyone you'd hope, but some additional people may come to your attention, and they're true gems you'll be glad to spend more time with.

If you choose to care about vain things, know this caring will someday break your heart, as our vanity and pride all break. I have a lot of vanity about how clever I am. Watching a loved one lose their mental capacities over time, as almost all people do now that lesser illnesses have such effective treatment, is a good reminder that I will be stripped of my intellect someday too. If my desire to be smart, to be seen as smart, is replenished, defended, and other important things set aside so I can be clever and seen as clever, I will have missed out on a great deal, and my heart will still be broken in the end.

If you choose to care about being a good person, it will be a challenging road. But one step along that path seems more worth walking than a vast adventure seeking riches or novelty. There will be a limit to how much you can want, how much you can replenish your want, and that's OK. You will grow better at it, when it's important to you and you take time to practice.

And please to choose to care about things that relate you to others. People are the world's treasure, and while there are many delights, there is none as fine.